Monday, June 12, 2006

Why don't you try knitting with this?

Shape:
The poo was long and straight, except for a small button-hook at the end that resembled something old ladies knit with.

Texture:
The poo was pretty solid, but it wasn't too hard. The poo had the texture of squished, boiled green beans, which I found out when wiping.

Color:
The poo looked yellow-brown from a distance, but it had yellow and orange flecks of corn and carrots respectively. When wiping, the poo had the color of squished, boiled green beans, like in green bean soup. Mmm...?

Pain:
There wasn't enough pain to justify a pain category.

Quantity:
There was about 2.5 kg of poo.

Toilet Paper Used:
I used 3 rips of TP.

Flushability:
The poo required one long flush

Sunday, June 11, 2006

The Exploding Happy Face

This poo just exploded quickly out of my asshole.

Shape:
Clearly, the poo resembled a happy face. First, there was the curve of the small, followed by three drops of poo signifying the nose and the eyes. There were other pieces, but all I saw was a smiling child.

Texture:
The poo was quite soft and fresh.

Color:
The poo was light brown with orange flecks. The orange flecks were carrot pieces.

Pain:
There was no pain from the explosion. However, there was some residual burning from the acid. Currently it has become an itching pain. I'd rate this a 2-3/10.

Quantity:
There was about 1.5 kg of poo.

Toilet Paper Used:
I used two rips of TP.

Flushability:
I flushed once.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

I've got a bad case of sour-ass.

As you have probably realized, I still don't document all my poos. I even had another poo today that I didn't document. Boohoohoo. You can't get completely updated about the poos of King Yellow? Why don't you examine your own poo? However, I'm sure your own poo isn't as interesting.

I'll describe a little bit of this afternoon's poo. Once again, I was at school, and once again, I was in the parking lot when I had to poo (check out my poo story on my main site). Also, I've had a lot of unchronicled poos shortly after the same parking lot. It's some sort of retrieval cue. Anyways, like all of my "parking lot poos," the poo started to creep up (down?) after I parked. I believed then that I could hold it in and drive home before I had to go (like all "parking lot poos," I had too much confidence in my ability to hold my poo in, and I underestimated the intensity of the poo). When I realized that I really would have to go, I procrastinated in the parking lot with the futile hope that I could still hold it in. When it became even more obvious the poo really wanted to escape my rectum, I started to shuffle towards the nearest bathroom (at least 50 to 75 meters away). Unlike most other "parking lot poos" and even though I was "prairie-dogging" the poo, I managed to walk/jog normally for half the distance to the washroom. Understandably, I wanted to remain inconspicious about my pooing intentions to others, and I don't like having the feeling of "having to poo" near others (I may have stage fright). However, at the half-way point, I began to shuffle and limp to try to hold the poo in even longer. I finally made it to the toilet in good time, because the poo would have escaped if I arrived a second later. I was not punished for stopping my shuffling to stomp on a helpless bug. Now, I'll tell you about this last poo.

Shape:
The poo was made up of various shapeless forms that floated in the sewage dump of the toilet.

Texture:
Most of the shapes had a soft jagged texture on the edges.

Color:
The poo had a resemblance to dark, fudge chocolate dip. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Pain:
Well, there actually wasn't too much exit pain or stretch pain. I did have to hold it in a bit, though. The main pain came (three straight almost-rhyming words; I'm a poet) after the poo. I currently have sour-ass, and I'll probably have it for the next hour. I will shift around and try to stop the acid burns. I do know that the acid burns will eventually turn into itching pains. This was a pretty acidic poo. I guess most of my pancreatic fluid was used up in the poo this afternoon, like 6 hours ago. I'd rate this poo a 5/10, just because of my third-degree burns.

Quantity:
The poo had a mass of about 1.5 kg.

Toilet Paper Used:
I used three rips of TP.

Flushability:
I flushed once.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Just Poo It: Nike

Shape:
It was shaped like the Nike "Swoosh" symbol plus an extra dot for emphasis.

Texture:
The poo was soft and solid.

Color:
The poo was yellow-brown.

Pain:
There was some pain holding it in and some pain from acid burns, so I'll give this poo a 3/10.

Quantity:
There was about 1.5 kg of poo.

Toilet Paper Used:
I used two rips of TP.

Flushability:
The poo required two flushes, and during the second flush, the toilet almost overflowed.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Another Horseshoe-Shaped Poo

Shape:
The poo was curled like the letter "u" or a horseshoe.

Texture:
The poo was solid but pretty fresh and soft.

Color:
I think the poo was yellow-brown.

Pain:
Well, there was some exit stretching, due to the size, and my anus itches a little, so I'll give this poo a 2/10.

Quantity:
I think there was about 2.5 kg of poo.

Toilet Paper Used:
I used three rips of toilet paper.

Flushability:
I flushed once.

Monday, June 05, 2006

A Poo On A Steaming Hot Day

Shape:
I have no idea what the shape was. It was just a mixture of boring cylinders of poo.

Texture:
The poo was solid but soft.

Color:
The poo was yellow-brown.

Pain:
The poo was huge, so it was kind of difficult to hold it in. When I started "prairie-dogging" it, I decided that I had to poo. There was some stretch pain, so I'll give this poo a 3/10.

Quantity:
There was between 2.5 to 3 kg of poo.

Toilet Paper Used:
It was damn hot today, so even my ass was sweating. Thus, I had only about one wipe for each rip because my anus was damp and sticky. Thus, I used about 5-6 rips of toilet paper today.

Flushability:
In my old toilet, this would have been a clog at least. However, in this new fancy-schmancy house, the toilet almost always sucks down my poo in one flush, like this time.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

My Poo: A Peace Activist

I haven't been updating my poos daily anymore. I think I missed two poos since the last post. However, I'm lazy. I go to the gym. I study. Sometimes, I just don't have time for my poo. I know, I know, there are no excuses. Suck it.

Shape:
The poo was made up of two cylindrical pieces put together to make a peace symbol. My poo is already a revolutionary and a hippy. Too bad it wasn't multicolored, though.

Texture:
The poo was very solid, but it wasn't too hard or old.

Color:
The poo was yellow-orange-brown. The orange probably came from the carrots I ate late last night.

Pain:
The pain was medium. When I tried to hold it in, I felt much pain in my stomach, and during release, there was some exit pain. Also, there's some residual stretch pain with a little bit of itching. I'd give this poo a 5/10.

Quantity:
I'd say there was about 2.5 kg of poo.

Toilet Paper Used:
I used three rips plus one small square for safety.

Flushability:
The poo required only one flush.